Dodgy Doggy Business

A dog trying to eat two bones at once is a comical sight, perhaps even adorable. The trick is to toss the second bone while the dog happily chews the first one. Delighted contentment gives way to possessive panic, especially when other dogs leap for the bone. The dog drops the first bone without ceremony to chase the other but can end up losing both bones. It is a rib-splitting sight in dogs but a dreadful tragedy in business. Continue reading Dodgy Doggy Business

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Scaling the Gap

Sex. That was my answer when my boss’s boss asked me for the meaning of passion. Up to this point, the departmental meeting had been mundane. My reply ended the meeting. A collective gasp of horror cleared the air for peals of laughter. Tears streamed down faces, hands grasped desks for support and shoulders shook with unbridled mirth. Continue reading Scaling the Gap

Red Cabbage and the Failure of the Tried and Tested

A couple of ladies declined coleslaw recently. No, they were not on some no-cabbage diet or anything of the sort. The chef used an unfamiliar variety of cabbage: red cabbage. Unfamiliarity was their only reason for declining the dish. They would not even try a teaspoonful, no! It was new, therefore, it was wrong. Continue reading Red Cabbage and the Failure of the Tried and Tested

I Am Still Tempted (When the Hashtags Go Silent)

I am not like those men in the hashtags. I don’t mean the rapists, I mean the other ones. Relax, I have never ripped a woman’s clothes off and impaled her forcibly on myself. I understand and respect consent. No, I am not like the rapists: those stories horrify me and wrench my heart. I am just not like the other guys in the hashtags. Continue reading I Am Still Tempted (When the Hashtags Go Silent)

Kulungani?

“Kuzolunga.” At face value, a declaration pregnant with hope but often just an impotent capitulation, a hopeless cupping of hands around a dying flame. It is the last word heard by a wife just before she becomes a widow, spoken as death beclouds her bedridden mate. It rings in the ears of the tenant facing eviction, taunts the desperation of the unemployed graduate and annoys Continue reading Kulungani?

Reaching for the Door

She had a husband but she was no wife. In a world where a woman had to belong to somebody, be it her father or her husband, she was bound to him but he had no obligation to her. Without betrothal and without a wedding, she found herself tasked with living as a wife without the security that a wife had. She was a Continue reading Reaching for the Door

Eyes That Cannot Cry

A lot of the time, people say, “I’m depressed,” when they really mean, “I’m sad.” Depression isn’t a tearful sobbing widow at her husband’s funeral but a heavy emptiness crushing the life out of daily living. It is not a downcast face, no, it is a laughing face, a laughing face that “hides eyes that cannot cry.” That is why some of the funniest comedians are the most miserable. What does it say about us, that misery makes us mirthful? Continue reading Eyes That Cannot Cry